Childbirth

Oh natural childbirth. Been there, done that. But it wasn't voluntary. In fact, I would have preferred to NOT know about this subject. I am no wild woman who felt the need to prove my strength to the world, in fact, unless pushed I rarely admit to natural childbirth. Mostly because it wasn't by choice. I had my first child when I was 27 years old. Exactly 27 years old. My birthday is the 3rd, his is the 4th. I was only 34 weeks along. I wasn't ready to have a baby yet (hello! 6 more weeks....I suddenly knew how that dang groundhog feels every year!) and I knew in my heart he wasn't fully baked yet. I knew he wasn't ready. But when one's blood pressure is 210/110, you find your choices limited to trusting your doctor or possibly having a stroke. I swallowed hard and placed all my faith in the firecracker of an OB I had chosen. She induced my labor and within hours I was miserable. Really miserable. So the nurse called for the epidural. I had always planned on the drugs. I have no interest in being the hero. Nope, not this girl. But my son sat super low on my hips and while I had thought about the chiropractor, I had not ever made it that far. Too busy with moving and bedrest. You know, the basics. So here I sat in labor and delivery and I was laboring hard in my hips and back. Ouch! Now I have a pretty good pain tolerance. I have had elbow surgery that involved scraping the muscle off my elbow and re-attaching it. I know pain, and this was horrifying. The anestheologist tried multiple times to place an epidural. It was not a lot of fun. He even tried a full spinal block, like you get for a c-section. Nada. Nothing. No relief at all. That pretty much was a huge disappointment. I remember wondering how in the gravy I was going to get through having this baby. It was not fun. But 13 hours and 32 minutes later, my son was born. And really, the pushing was the easy part. The 13 hours before were no fun at all. I will save you descriptions of the pain...after all pain is entirely subjective and what I consider to be horrid might be peachy keen with you.
So why am I think about this random subject? After all there will be no more babies birthed from this body. Two was plenty thank you very much. I have had a baby every way possible. Natural childbirth, check. Vaginal delivery, check. C-section, check. Epidural (thank the good Lord!), check. Because I see a lot of women lately who seem to wear it as a badge of honor. And I guess if that is what you are after by all means go for it. I am not going to tell you that you are not awesome for pushing out a baby without drugs, but I am not going to give you any more congratulations then someone who had an epidural.  But I think that those women who are busy polishing their badge of honor ought to realize that those of us who like a good shot to the back are not bad people. We are not unaccomplished. We sure aren't wimpy. After all motherhood is not for wimps. And really the epidural you get during childbirth is the only chance during your child's life you can completely tune out during the hard part.

THIS life

Do you ever get those people who look at you and try to figure out how YOU got to where you are? Good or bad? My cute husband and I have a pretty darn good life. One that is fairly comfortable and a relationship that is mostest excellent. And it makes me freaking nuts when people look at me and give me the "how did YOU end up in such a place" look. I assume they mean good place. I would guess they are talking about happily married with a nice house, 2 cute kids, and an SUV in the garage which I like to drive to Disneyland. It makes me crazy that anyone would second guess how we got to where we are in life. We are decent people and we are happy. We know there are jobs that pay more. We know there are bigger houses. We know that it would be possible to have more children (well in theory anyway). But here is the thing, we like where we are. I dare say we are content. We like being able to do things, go places. We like our time together. We like being able to plan a trip and take it. I get mad when people try to claim my life as theirs....I once had someone tell me they loved my house and when she had one like it she was going to make a "few" changes to make it better. It took everything in my power to not punch her. Don't give me backhanded compliments. Don't try to figure out how I may not go to church on Sunday but I am still a great person. I work with charities not because someone told me I should, but because I believe in making a difference. We are active in making a difference and not just with a money but with time and effort. We work dang hard to keep the life we love. We work at our relationship. We talk to each other, good or bad. We work through the hard stuff. Because when we said "I do" we really meant for better or worse, no matter what. Because with out the hard stuff, the good stuff is not near as good. We sometimes have to make the hard choices. We worry about growing our children into responsible people. Those who do not expect the world handed to them. To be adults who work hard and are dependable. Not those who are waiting for a handout. We have had and have great support and great love. And a lot of hard work. That is how we have THIS life. And THIS life, is THE life.

Really, Really Bad Things

The world is filled with good things and bad things. And once in a while really bad things. Really, really BAD things. Last weekend, a man killed his children and himself. I am not going to put his name here. For me, it is not worth mentioning. Those 2 precious boys however, they deserve a mention. The deserve to be remembered as (what I am guessing) were sweet, precious boys who had their whole lives ahead of them. Heaven only knows what their futures would have held, they were only 5 and 7 years old. Despite the harsh realities of a missing mother (most would guess she was killed by the boys murderer) they were surrounded by people who loved them. Who wanted them to grow into whatever their potential held. Maybe they would have been good men, fathers, a doctor, a police detective, a social worker, a dump truck driver. Maybe a teacher or a pilot. But last Sunday, all that potential was snuffed out by one individual and his selfishness. For me there is no other way to describe their father's actions. Pure and simple selfish and evil. I believe in a God who is good and forgiving. But I also believe there are certain things that cannot be forgiven, no matter how much one repents or begs for forgiveness, and killing your children, that is one of those things.
Be at Peace sweet boys. I hope you didn't suffer, or realize what was happening. I hope you left this world not knowing who ended your short lives. I hope....well there are many thing I hope for you, but really I just wish you Peace.

Feeding a six year old

The boy child is driving me insane. He has decided he is no longer willing to eat ANY vegetables. If he thinks it has vegetables he will not eat it. He is willing to fight to tears about this. Dinner last night took him almost 2 hours and he only at 3 bites. I am at my wits end. I can tell he is not getting what he needs He is grumpy and not sleeping really well. What is a mom to do? I guess it is time for tough love. No treats, no Slurpee's and a whole lotta grief from him. But he will eat like he should. This is not a meat only house. We started this morning with oatmeal (which by the way I will not eat) and he ate half of his serving, only after whimpering about it but still he ate it. I am not going to starve the child, but I am no longer willing to fight about dinner (or any meal for that matter). Is this just his way of having control? Is he just being a grump? Someone help.......because I might have a nervous breakdown before too long.

The Husband

Even on the days that I would most like to string him up, my Husband is one amazing guy. I am grateful for him and all he does. I love him like no other. I love the way he treats me and more importantly, our children. I didn't grow up with a great fatherly influence. Read back a few posts, you will understand. My kids on the other hand, have an amazing example of a man in their life and I am delighted.

I know there are times I am unappreciative of him. Days I do not give him near enough credit. After all he is married to me. The man deserves a gold medal for merely waking up with me most days (I am so NOT a morning person, ever!). Those days when I think he is chewing his food too loudly type of thing. But he is amazing. And I need to remember to tell him that more often. He is truly a gift.

My deleted FB post

Have you ever typed it all up and been ready to hit send and realized, probably not the best idea? I did that this morning. It was a really good post, but may have made me look a little nuts and since those of you who follow me here, already know I am nuts. I will share that post with you. If you happen to just be stopping by...I am sorry. Hope your Monday is outstanding.

"Dear Monday, You can bite me. I am going back to bed. If you see a 3 year old and two 2 year olds playing in the road, they are likely mine. I locked the doors, but they are smart little buggers. So,throw them back in the house, and you might want to call my husband and see if he gives a crap. He likely does, but he will get to it whenever he rolls out of bed. the rest of us be damned."

Can you tell I might be a little PMS-y? Ya I can feel it. The little things are nagging hardcore. I think I need another cup of coffee.

Sometimes, you get what you asked for.......

Have you heard the horribly annoying song "Friday" by Rebecca Black. Oh my. First time I heard it, I was a little confuse as to why any record company would make such a video. Not long after I got my answer. Her mommy and daddy paid big bucks to make the video because Rebecca wants to be a pop star. Now, she has made another video, which I don't recall the name of that is out. Now this little sweetie is out there on all the "celebrity" shows whining and complaining that she was bullied out of school. First, let me state emphatically that it is never okay to bully anyone. Child or adult. Kids are doing stupid crap these days. What once would have been settled with fisticuffs now involves actual weapons, which is just insane. There was a story in the news not long ago about a kid getting stabbed over an ipod. Kids used to be mean, now they are dangerous (at least some of them are). That said, you out to know by now I believe in personal responsibility. And I am wondering at what point some of the treatment towards Rebecca, is not part of the cost of the celebrity she seems to so desperately be seeking. I am wondering if mommy and daddy forgot to tell her, before they signed the big check for the (eek!) music video, that it would not all be sunshine and butterflies. That there would be critics. Harsh critics. Mean critics. I think mommy and daddy forgot one thing about giving baby girl everything she ever wanted. Baby girl just might end up whiny and ungrateful. I do not pretend to know these people, nor what they are thinking. But I do wonder. I wonder why they didn't spend the $$$$ on some voice lessons. Why they did not invest in their child directly. My kid wants to be a tennis star, but that doesn't mean I paid for him to play at the US Open. It means we are working on lessons and skills and seeing where it goes. My other child seems to be interested in dance. So we are starting at the beginning with lessons and performance
opportunities. Do we not start with the basics anymore? I don't expect my 3 year old who doesn't yet know the alphabet to read chapter books. It just doesn't work that way. And I wonder also if we are not confusing an ability to sing or desire to preform with an urge to be famous.